RECAP:
[So, you saw a 'stream'... Some-time back...
[And a 'serendipity' played on the 'why' of it all; 'way-back' then and also in 'this' then.
[This Mr.E Streaming...
[And all of it ties into that old 'way-back' stream which leads to new dreams... new realities... new experiences... which set me on the path to go from that 'way-back' then, passing the sharp corners of life, finding one's-self-stuck in the mud... crawling, than jumping back into that stream again... and coming to 'this'...
[And to save you from the War & Peace of it all... (we're gonna skip the full/fill of between the 'way-back' to the 'this'... which/that/had got me to The CORNER in the first-place. Suffice it to say, that it all ties into and beyond what you've already read to this point!).
[So, I am going to stick to the main current here, as in the now more 'salient present now'. This stream...
[You read about the thyroid that blew out and caused a whole load of near-deathidness in Dire, when it was dire and an Angel named Mariana saved me from dying there, to the comedy of her heroics of getting me to the UofC, (and, know that what I meant by "you should hear her version" was she was scared to death the entire time! That's what 'that look' was... that exchange of a glance... anyway... She'd need to tell it in her voice. It's a whole chapter at least!)
[Then you read moments of cerebrally-masturbatory-clarity with the social-worker, more 'serendipity', more answered 'why's'...
[How love pours in, The CORNER pours in, GRACE pours in... to that UofC and the how of the healing process...comprised of previous preceding's all predicate on past pouring's... actually proceeded.
[And you read and perhaps cried as deeply as I, when my emaciated-ass was saved by "my brother"...
[And on to some oddities in "What a Life!" which prompted some of what you read in Part I, which is were I got to witness the first stages of GRACE, and than in Part II, where that GRACE gets a 'real good hold' of me, to which I didn't really get at that time. And surely, not to the extent that it inevitably would play upon me, here.
[GRACE.
[Personal thoughts transformed by this exposure to GRACE, to which I was fully embraced.
[Then... Which is still only the beginning! It continues in this posting:
... GRACE.]
You see, my writings are 'post processing's' and 'topdressings' of re-membered 'things' in all sorts of out-of-order, jumbled, gibber-jabber... The taking of past experiences and revelations to present experiences and revelations to explain some gelling I experienced in the STREAM!
Yes, STREAM!
And I am going to STREAM it as LOUD as I can!
Because this is where it goes from greatfabulouswonderfulmiraculousmymindbendingawesomeness... to being SMASH!ed to bits by a Holy-monstrous-WOW! POW! Kick you in your fucking teeth!
and... "Evan, You Are Loved!" STREAMED at me from a thousand direction!!!
WOW.
I can tell ya that that'll give ya pause...
You can bet your ass on it!
THAT is Pause.
Now, as I was going through that healing process and all that that that was, somewhere in the back of my mind, I know I am going to have to move on.
And a few things were at play on my mind which brought about something even MORE unbelievable than everything you have read to this point!
I'll back up a bit and try to tie it together (and I suppose, an apology for the mental gymnastics my timelines may present to the reader. Just go with it, see the flow and read this as a whole. A complete STREAM! Go on... Do it... scream that stream! Feels damn good! Don't it?)
Now,by the time I was showing real signs of improvement, I put my effort into that VORTEX that I truly believe will allow me to get me back on my feet.
You can call it Mr. E-mobilizing to find an INCOME-stream.
But, 'vortices' by their very nature are fluid-flowing-whirlwinds that'll suck up everything you have got... and even some of what you don't got and may never get. (At least, until you/I get 'it', and oh yes, we will get to that! Later).
It's a cosmic food-processor and I am the meat. The gods are hungry.
It's a sink-hole in some Bermuda-Triangle like place between reality, fantasy, and enlightenment. But more on that later, too.
Point was, money ain't flowing in that INCOME-stream too readily and my only hope of staying alive, (kicking and grasping-gasping for air), is to get into that AIR-STREAM that I put $2,000 hard-earned with the blood of my skinny ass and almost the point of my life to get! Hell, I've only got another 3 to go!
It's my only hope. My home. My chance.
Yet, I'm busting-ass to make it happen... and all I'm getting is tied-up in the weeds, roots and trees. Spun into eddies, sucked under and spat-out again, choking. With every row of my feeble-boat, my oars are getting tangled-up! It's un-fucking-believable. Really.
Now, Derrick & Michelle are watching this whole thing take place, and my one peer does the best he can on his end, the other is far-off on the other end of the pond shooting arrows in Nottingham and it's not looking like my value to this venture is worth what ain't there. So, nickels are stretched. Dimes are actually pennies and stretched thinner than a Cat-5 wire and covered in plastic! (THAT is ANOTHER story in the STREAM we'll get to...)
And MY BROTHERS are pissed. They see my ability, and can't for the life of them, see what I'm seeing, let alone WHY. "There are a million jobs I could take. Fuck this." they say... but I'm certain... I am a driven rain-drop that's got to get to the sea!
And in the midst of seeing that side of it, that side of me, They decide an "Operation" is in order. And what an "Operation" it is!
"Operation Airstream"
A fund-raiser, to get my ass off their couch and into that trailer! To raise the difference! To make it happen!
And what transpires prior to my knowing anything about it, is a tumultuous sea, and I'm a cork floating around like a fool on the surface of uncertainty taxing the patience of MY BROTHER.
Till next post,
Cheers
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